Tag: Confidence

Book Review: Collecting Confidence by Kim Gravel

Posted on by Rosemarie

Confidence is a tricky thing; part learned skill, part mindset, and part sheer force of will. In Collecting Confidence, Kim Gravel aims to offer readers a roadmap to building self-assurance through personal anecdotes and hard-earned wisdom. The book presents itself as an inspiring guide to self-belief, but for me, it fell short in a few key ways.

Gravel is undoubtedly an engaging storyteller. Her Southern charm and candid reflections make for easy listening (I read the audible version), and some of her experiences, especially those tied to resilience and personal growth, are relatable. She also emphasizes that confidence isn’t about having all the answers but about stepping forward anyway, which is a message many people need to hear.

Additionally, the book’s structure, framed around collecting lessons over time rather than achieving instant self-assurance, is a refreshing take. It acknowledges that confidence is an evolving process, which aligns with real-world experience.

For a book promising actionable confidence-building strategies, I found Collecting Confidence too heavy on personal anecdotes and too light on practical takeaways. Many of Gravel’s stories, while engaging, felt more like a memoir than a structured self-improvement guide. If you’re looking for a deeper dive into the psychology of confidence or research-backed strategies, this book isn’t the one for you.

This book is very heavy on faith-based messaging. While that’s certainly an authentic part of Gravel’s perspective, it was woven into the book in a way that felt less like a universal lesson and more like a directive. As someone who doesn’t share her faith-based approach, I found it difficult to connect with the book’s core message in the way I’d hoped. Rather than presenting confidence as something anyone can build through mindset shifts and action, it often leaned into the idea of divine timing and trusting in God’s plan.

If you enjoy books that blend personal storytelling with inspiration, especially from an author with a strong faith perspective, Collecting Confidence might resonate with you. But if you’re looking for a more structured, research-backed approach to confidence-building, you might find yourself wishing for something more substantial.

Ultimately, while I appreciate Gravel’s sincerity and storytelling ability, the book didn’t quite hit the mark for me. Confidence is something we all have to collect in our own way, and for my journey, I prefer insights grounded in psychology, actionable strategies, and broader applicability.

Would love to hear from you! Did Collecting Confidence work for you? If so, what were your key takeaways?

Book Review: Likeable Badass

Posted on by Rosemarie

What does it mean to be both likeable and a badass? In Likeable Badass: How Women Get the Success They Deserve, Alison Fragale tackles this question head-on, offering research-backed insights on how women can navigate workplace dynamics, build confidence, and command respect without sacrificing their authenticity. This book challenges the outdated notion that being assertive makes a woman unlikeable while being agreeable makes her ineffective. Instead, Fragale provides practical strategies to balance warmth and competence, allowing women to lead with both power and authenticity.

Confidence is something anyone can learn, not just something you’re born with. You can develop confidence through practice and experience. Fragale emphasizes that true confidence comes from preparation, self-awareness, and action rather than simply “faking it until you make it.” Confidence-building starts with small wins. Whether it’s speaking up in a meeting, negotiating for a raise, or taking on a stretch project, consistently stepping outside your comfort zone strengthens your ability to project confidence naturally. Leaders can also foster confidence in their teams by providing clear feedback, mentorship, and opportunities to succeed.

Women often face the challenge of being seen as either too nice, and not taken seriously, or too assertive, and seen as difficult. Fragale provides research-backed strategies to navigate this, emphasizing that success doesn’t require choosing one over the other. Striking the right balance between warmth and authority can improve leadership effectiveness. Using humor, expressing genuine interest in others, and showing vulnerability when appropriate can make assertive communication more palatable, especially in male-dominated environments. Leaders can also challenge biases in their organizations by evaluating how feedback is given. For example, consider whether women in your workplace are being told they need to be nicer, while men are praised for the same directness.

How you say something is just as important as what you say. Fragale highlights the importance of tone, body language, and framing when delivering messages. Being direct doesn’t mean being rude. Using “I” statements, maintaining open body language, and strategically pausing for emphasis can enhance your presence. When delivering difficult messages, pairing confidence with warmth, like using an encouraging tone while providing constructive feedback, can make your words more effective.

Traditional leadership models often favor extroverted, dominant personalities, but Fragale argues that influence isn’t about being the loudest; it’s about being strategic. Thoughtful, well-timed contributions can be just as powerful as constant visibility. If you’re naturally introverted or prefer to observe before speaking, you can still build influence by being intentional about when and how you contribute. Preparing key points in advance, leveraging written communication, and forming strong one-on-one relationships can all enhance your ability to lead effectively.

After all your hard work in building a badass career, it’s important to own your success. Many women downplay their achievements to avoid seeming boastful, but Fragale stresses the importance of owning your success with confidence. Recognizing and articulating your value isn’t arrogance, it’s self-advocacy. Instead of deflecting praise, practice accepting compliments with a simple “Thank you, I worked hard on that.” When discussing achievements, focus on impact rather than effort (e.g., “This project increased revenue by 20%” instead of “I worked really hard on this”). Leaders can also encourage this behavior by celebrating team wins openly and ensuring credit is given where it’s due.

Likeable Badass is a powerful guide for women who want to excel in their careers without compromising who they are. By understanding the balance between confidence and likeability, mastering strategic communication, and owning their achievements, women can break past the barriers that hold them back.

What strategies have helped you navigate confidence and influence in your career? Let’s discuss in the comments!